


When You Hold Me, I'm Alive

by keepitdreamin



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Artificial, M/M, Robot/Human Relationships, sciencebrosweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-03 03:11:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4084423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepitdreamin/pseuds/keepitdreamin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce- the robot- feels weird and goes to ask Tony for help understanding it.</p><p>Science Bros Week 2015. June 12: Artificial</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Hold Me, I'm Alive

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt was 'Artificial' and I immediately thought Artificial Intelligence. So... yeah. Enjoy!

He wasn't supposed to feel this way. AHJ-87Q held out his arms and inspected his fingers. They looked human, like they always did. He blinked and he could feel the artificial moisture that made his eyes appear real. He ran through all his actions and everything worked. But he still felt, he searched his banks for the proper word. _Weird_ _,_ he decided. He felt _weird_.

He considered this. He had never felt anything but _normal_ , or what he supposed was normal for a robot, anyway, and he wasn't sure what to do. There was no official protocol for feeling _weird_ when there was no physiological symptoms. But… he hadn't had official protocol for a long time. Not since the lab had gone under and he'd been taken in by an unassociated party. The man was good to him. Nice even, when there was no logical reason to be. And he didn't give AHJ-87Q protocols like the other scientists had. No, he wanted him to learn and think and decide for himself, which was confusing. That was one of the feelings he'd learned since he came here. Confusion. It made your head twist and your stomach knot. He'd also learned Frustration, when something was wrong and you couldn't do what you wanted, and Annoyance, when someone does something you do not like. But he'd never felt like this before, maybe the man could explain.

The man was in the lab. He was almost always in the lab except for short breaks for food and sleep. When AHJ-87Q walked in, he looked up with a smile. The old scientists only ever smiled at him when he did what they asked, but not this one. He was always smiling at him. “Bruce!” he called out. That was another thing. He had given AHJ-87Q a name. A proper name. He'd never had one of those before and he still couldn't think of himself by it, but maybe someday he would.

“Tony,” he replied in greeting and returned the smile. His smile only made Tony smile even more, and AHJ-87Q -Bruce- felt _weird_ again.

“What's up, Buttercup?” Tony asked, flicking the holographic display he'd been working with to the side.

Bruce furrowed his eyebrows. “I am not a buttercup.” His banks told him that a buttercup was a flower. Or perhaps it was a cup with butter in it. Either way, it did not apply to him.

Tony waved his hand. He did that a lot, Bruce noticed. He communicated just as much nonverbally as he did verbally, which was quite a feat because he could- and frequently did- communicate verbally for hours on end. This time, Bruce thought, it was a wave of dismissal of the topic. “It's just an expression. It rhymes; it's fun. Buttercup is also often used as a term of endearment. But back to the point, what's brought you down here? What's on your mind?”

Bruce furrowed his brow again. He very much enjoyed this action. He had learned it from Tony and it meant Confusion or Thought. Right now, it meant both as he tried to express his question in a way Tony, who did not know how _normal_ felt to a robot, would understand. “I feel...” he began then stopped, unsure of how to continue. Tony smiled encouragingly. Bruce found that Tony was very encouraging when Bruce was learning or had questions. “I feel...” he tried again, but got no further than before. He frowned. This was more difficult than he'd initially anticipated. “Frustrated,” he finished, still frowning.

Tony nodded at him and gestured to the seat across from him. When Bruce didn't move, he gestured again, but this time adding, “Come, sit over here.” As Bruce moved to sit across from him, he filed away the gesture and its meaning for future reference.

“So,” Tony leaned toward him with his elbows on the table, “What's making you feel frustrated?”

Bruce studied his posture, open and inviting, and mimicked it, resting his arms on the table as well. He laid them flat and tapped his fingers. Tapped and tapped and-

“Okay buddy, that's enough.” Tony's hand went down and covered his own, stilling the tapping. Bruce pursed his lips and studied their hands where they overlapped. He still felt _weird_ and this, for some reason, was making the weird feeling worse. “Hey, you still with me?” Tony interrupted his thoughts. He squeezed Bruce's fingers reassuringly and the _weird_ feeling grew.

Bruce took a deep breath. It was unnecessary, but he found it calming at times. “Yes, I am still with you,” he answered.

Tony smiled a little before asking, “So, you're frustrated about something? What is it?”

Bruce sighed again. He wanted to tap his fingers but Tony was still holding them, so he resorted to another sigh. “I am Frustrated because I cannot think of how to ask you a question so that you'll understand.”

Tony scoffed. “Try me. I think you'll find I'm pretty smart.”

Bruce nodded. “Yes, but the Intelligence is not the issue. The Artificial part is the issue. Mainly, you are not.” Tony let out a chuckle and Bruce smiled. He liked making Tony laugh.

“Still… try me. Maybe, I'll still get it, even though I'm different than you.” Tony waited and Bruce frowned, right back at the spot where he didn't know how to describe the feeling. But he said to try…

“I feel _weird_.” Bruce looked expectantly at Tony who just frowned in confusion.

“Hmm…” Bruce could tell that Tony was doing a quick visual examination, checking the physiological components for anything obvious, exactly what Bruce had first done. Finding nothing, he asked, “Weird how?”

Bruce frowned again. He was doing a lot of frowning. He did not like being Confused. He much preferred smiling. When he smiled, Tony would smile too, and it was nice. “I… do not know how to describe it to you, Tony. You are a human. We do not feel things the same way. All I know is that I do not feel normal.”

Tony nodded with him. “Yes, but we do experience some things the same way. Your tech is very advanced, so emotions and the like are very similar to humans. I'm assuming since you didn't come to me with a problem hardware or software related, the _weird_ doesn't reside there. Maybe it's just another emotion that you haven't figured out yet, and maybe I do know it. So tell me what brought it on, or when you feel it the most, and we'll work it out.” Bruce nodded. Tony was very reasonable, and it was quite possible that this _weird_ feeling was an emotion he didn't know yet. But he still wasn't sure where to start.

Tony must have read this confusion because he asked, “Let's start with… When did you first start feeling weird?”

Oh, that wasn't particularly hard. “Precisely 18 minutes ago.”

Tony nodded. “And where were you?”

“I was in my room.”

“And what were you doing?”

Bruce thought back, “I was… I was looking through the magazine that you are in this month.”

Tony reached over and grabbed his own copy of the magazine. In doing so, he let go of one of Bruce's hand, and Bruce was surprised at the Sadness he felt at the loss of contact. “Which part?” Tony questioned, sliding the magazine in front of him.

Bruce blinked and looked down at it. He flipped to page 63. The page with Tony on it. “Here.”

“Hmm, my article...” Tony flipped the page and started scanning the lines, looking for anything that jumped out as _weird_.

Bruce thought this over. “No, not your article. Your picture.” He reached forward and flipped the pages back to 63. He tapped the page again for emphasis. “This one.”

Tony frowned at the picture. “But what's different about this picture when you see me in person all the time?” he muttered. Bruce understood that the question was not posed to him, and that made it a rhetorical question, one that wasn't meant to be answered, but he ignored that fact.

“You look different in this photo,” he spoke. “You look…” he scanned for a word. “Nice. You look nice,” he finally decided.

Tony looked amused. “What, am I not nice in person?”

Bruce shook his head. “Not kind-nice. The other nice. You look… fancy,” he decided.

Tony blinked, then blinked again. He looked at the photo. “Huh, I suppose I did clean up good on this photo shoot. But why is that important?” this time, he did ask Bruce directly, but Bruce could only shrug. He didn't know. That was the whole problem. Tony shrugged too before continuing, “Well, we'll put that aside for now. Can you… describe any specifics? What you want to do when you feel it? Things like that?”

Bruce thought it over, “My stomach is knotted. But it feels… good. Not like Confusion or Anger. It's like… Happy but different, more fluttery.”

Tony's eyes crinkled and he looked… unsure but hopeful. Bruce had learned a lot about Tony's facial expressions and what they meant. Crinkled eyes were generally reserved for the end of experiments or when first trying the food Bruce was learning to make. He wasn't sure what it meant that his eyes were crinkling now, but he hoped it was something good.

“And are you feeling it now?” Tony asked softly.

“Yes.” Bruce nodded. “And it keeps getting worse.”

Tony bit his lip, then moved his hand back over Bruce's. “Is it worse right now?” Bruce swallowed hard and nodded. Tony removed his hands, “And now?”

Bruce furrowed his brow and shook his head, “Now I feel Sad.”

Tony nodded and took Bruce's hands in his own again. Bruce relaxed, and Tony studied him for another moment. “Okay, so I have an idea of what this might be.” Bruce looked up expectantly and Tony cleared his throat. “Uh, you like me.”

Bruce nodded confused. “Yes. We are friends.”

Tony laughed. “Yeah, we are. But I meant the other kind of like.” At Bruce's continued confusion, he sighed, “Uh, as in romantically.”

Bruce thought about that. He had never felt romantically towards anything before and he'd never known of an AI who had… But then again they were treading in unknown waters here already. He had never heard of an AI who had a friend before, or one who could distinguish emotions. And Tony was his friend. And he was nice and kind and smart and patient and funny and attractive. If he could feel romantically for someone, it would make sense that it was Tony. Bruce searched for the words… “I love you.”

If Tony had been drinking or eating something, he would have choked on it and possibly have died. As it was, he still devolved into a coughing fit. “Are you all right?” Bruce asked worriedly.

Tony coughed a few more times and waved his hand dismissively. “Yeah, you just, took me by surprise is all. I mean you went from 'feeling weird' to 'I love you' in the span of one discussion. So just give me a moment here.” Bruce nodded. Now that he knew what the weird feeling was he could wait.

“So, you love me? Are you sure?” Tony asked a minute or so later.

“Yes.” Bruce answered seriously. “You are my friend and you are nice and funny and attractive, and I love you.”

Tony's lips quirked up in a smile. “Huh, well I… I like you too.” 

“So… how do we proceed from here?”

“Well,” Tony smirked dangerously and Bruce shivered in anticipation, “we could experiment.”

Bruce tilted his head curiously. “What kind of experiments do you suggest?”

Tony leaned forward the table, moving into Bruce's personal space. Bruce didn't move away. His focus flicked between Tony's eyes and his lips, still tilted up in a smirk. “I think we should start with this one.” and he moved even closer, finally sealing his and Bruce's lips together.

 

AHJ-87Q had learned a lot of things since he'd come to live with Tony. He'd learned Nonverbal Cues and Independence and Appropriate Behavior. He'd learned about Confusion and Frustration and Annoyance. He'd learned about Happy and Smiles and Butterflies. He'd learned about Hobbies and Food and Cooking. He'd learned about Friendship and Closeness and Belonging. And today, he had learned Buttercup and Love and Pleasure. Now, as he looked into Tony's eyes and let his hand cup his jaw, as they moved to a couch and shared their warmth and Tony's hand grasped at the back of his shirt, AHJ-87Q, no, _Bruce_ , felt more alive, more _human_ than he ever had before.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from "Diamonds" by Rihanna


End file.
